nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

nofaddano:

"make me wanna bone"

paigeflip:

Having weaboo friends.

diedeadied:

Know Your Child’s Text Slang

OMG = Off, Mister Goat
FTW = Find Three Wolves
WTF = Wear Tin Foil
LMAO = Leave My Aunt’s Olives

xbox420:

i just want someone who will grab my pizza and watch ass with me whilst eating netflix

mochi-bunnies:

pink almond party cake 

inkerton-kun:

High-res cutie for you

baby: m... m...
mom: mama?
baby: mama...
mom: thank god it's not that meme
baby: just killed a man